Podcast 350: Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
Joan Kaylor joins us to talk about EFT – Emotional Freedom Techniques, the mind/body connection and how it impacts your health. Joan does an EFT session with Martin. Discover how powerful this non-invasive methodology is.
Scott: Welcome everybody! This is the Life Enthusiast Online radio and TV network! I’m Scott Paton, joining me, as usual, is Martin Pytela, and with us today is Joan Kaylor. Welcome! We are here to restore vitality to you and the planet! So, Martin, Joan, how are you guys doing today?
Joan: Great, yay!
Martin: Yes, I’m trying to keep up with life. It’s happening.
Scott: Awesome. Yes, it has been happening. Lots of exciting things. And one of the reasons we are so excited to have Joan here is she is an expert on EFT, the Emotional Freedom Technique. And it’s kind of like acupuncture without the needles for your emotions. And all of us have grown up, and some teacher somewhere or some bully somewhere said something to us, and it caused subconscious problems, and those things end up running our lives. And you can do something about those things on a lot of different levels. But one of the simplest, gentlest and easiest ways is through EFT. So, Joan, I would like to start off with just answering the question: What is EFT, what is the Emotional Freedom Technique, and how can we use it?
Joan: Thank you, Scott. The Emotional Freedom Technique is the second love of my life. As you described, it’s acupressure, acupuncture without needles. Over 5,000 years ago, the Chinese found out that we all have these energy points on our bodies. A licensed acupuncturist will know there are over 400 energy points that they know how to access. With EFT we access just 14 of them. So it’s a lot more simple. By simply tapping on these acupressure points, we can get relief from negative emotions, from self-sabotaging beliefs, from the energy of pain and discomfort. And that takes everything down. So does it work on everything? Ethically, I have to say no. Although in EFT land we say: try it and see what happens.
Martin: I’m actually trained as a clinical hypnotherapist, most people don’t know it, but, long ago in a galaxy far away, I was actually practicing hypnosis, and I was trained with NLP, neurolinguistic programming, and I used kinesiology on myself. I would say that our bodies use water, or actually nature uses water as the storage medium for memories.
Martin: And the water is actually stored in the human body, in the soft tissue, hard tissue everywhere. But the transmission of these memories or of these energies happens along the acupuncure meridians and there are 26 of them, 13 pairs really. Where energy flow is restricted from flowing freely through the body, the chi or life force pools, and causes pain. When we change something about the energy flow, typically by unclogging a blockage, we can release the blockage and the chi flows again. And this is how the acupuncture works when you push a needle into a spot where there was a blockage to energy flow, you release the blockage and the energy can flow again.
Martin: Up until we are about six years old, we do not have conscious control over what we perceive. We go through transitions, as the brain develops, there are major gates at age nine months, two years, four years, and six years. Each one of them represents a different transition. And only at about age six do we start having beta brainwaves. Until that, we are actually in the alpha waves, and before that in the theta brainwaves. Until you are about six years old, everything that you hear or perceive is stored literally in the brain and in the body. So your mom or your sister or your whoever may say something that your subconscious stores and interprets in a bizarre and perhaps destructive way, even though nobody meant any ill will, it just happened.
Joan: So we need EFT to be able to release the energy of all those traumas. For most of us, I hope there are some happy things that happened during that time, but if there are any unhappy things that happened, EFT is the perfect tool for releasing that trauma, so we can clear out our stream and live a happy, healthy, successful life. Because if we don’t, well, then we have all kinds of problems later growing up, and then we all go: “I wonder why I’m feeling this way. I wonder why I’m making these choices.” And then what I usually get from my clients is: “Oh, don’t give me that Freudian stuff,” and I go: “no, it’s not about Freud. It’s about what happened to you when you were growing up. I guarantee there’s a link. We just have to find it.”
Martin: Precisely. Stuff happens. Based on the stuff that happened we create behavior patterns. They can express themselves as physical pain, but it can also express as behavior choices. Like we may be sabotaging our career, we may be sabotaging our relationships, all kinds of blockages.
Joan: And that’s why I love EFT so much because somebody comes in and I explain to them: “I’m not your typical therapist, I am telling you right now,” and then as we start investigating, then they go: “Oh, I’ve cleared that.” And I will do a muscle test to see if it’s been cleared. I don’t have to physically do it, but I do it with them physically with applied kinesiology, because it teaches them what energy is all about, the flow of their energy. hey may say something that has been cleared, but they may have a weak muscle. After I calibrate them, they have a weak muscle, and it goes down or it starts flopping up and down. And I say: “well, I respect your opinion that you think it’s cleared, but your body is telling us differently, so we need to work on it.”
Martin: I had an experience like this. I was using homeopathic remedies to deal with my children. We are into energy healing. I’m sitting in my corporate office, and I’m talking to a fellow who’s visiting, and I’m saying that we are using homeopathics to clear things with my kids. And he says: “well, I don’t know if I can believe this, that it works or it has an effect.” And I look at him and say: “well, fortunately, your opinion of whether this is working or not working is not required for it to work. Thank you.” And likewise what you just said, right? Whether a person thinks or believes that they are over it, we actually have a method by which we can really see if they are or are not over it.
Joan: And I love the fact that when somebody says: “well, you’re the 10th therapist that I’ve seen and I’ve talked about this over and over again.” And I say: “Oh good. So now it’s really embedded in your unconscious. God, you’ve talked about it over and over again! So we’ve got even more work to do here!” But eventually, once they experience EFT, once they experience energy psychology, and then I get the: “what just happened, this is really weird,” then I know that they’re going to be engaged with me, and then I know that they have an open mind, and they are going to start learning and healing.
Martin: So, Joan, can you do this remotely, like right now?
Joan: Yes, I can.
Martin: You could fix me?
Joan: If you need a fix, I don’t know that you need a fix, but if you want to fix, I’ll fix you. What do you need to be fixed?
Martin: I don’t know.
Joan: You want me to check your chakras? That’s not EFT, but I can do that too. Energy travels through the computer. So yes, I can remotely balance, I can definitely remotely use EFT, but I can also balance people’s energy through the computer.
Martin: Well, I’m a willing guinea pig. We could just demonstrate something right here for evidence.
Joan: I like the sway method too.
Martin: That might not work so great.
Martin: You think?
Joan: For me, it helps me a lot. But what I’m trying to do now is just go into my inner wisdom, and then ask the question, and then just take a breath and wait for the answer. I want to do this the fastest and simplest way possible, especially if I’m tired and I don’t feel like standing up and swaying. So I’m trying to use that and then take it to my sixth chakra, my third eye, and find out what I need to do. I’m developing that more too. But the ring method, the muscle testing, the sway method, and what I really love to do too is the hanger method. I get two metal coat hangers, and I show people where their bioenergy field is, and that’s a lot of fun too.
Martin: Okay. I could find two coat hangers if I’m allowed to leave. Let’s demonstrate something.
Joan: Okay. What do you want me to demo? Anything in particular? Do you want me to demo EFT or do you want me to demo chakra balancing or muscle testing? What would you like me to demo?
Martin: How would you help a client who just showed up and says: “ah, I don’t know. I’m just not right.”
Joan: All right, well then I say: “let me check.” Then I’m going to do my explanation of what a chakra is.
Martin: Let’s say I just learned an hour ago that there is a setback in my business from an external party. How did I attract this complication into my life, and can I clear it from my side?
Joan: Let’s see. I would say probably, let’s see here. Let me just do a quickie. I’ll get my hand away from the camera. Okay. The seventh chakra, sixth, five, four, three… yup! They’re taking some of your power away there, Martin, your third chakra is a little off balance. I’m clearing it for you right now using my pendulum. Okay, now let me go down to number two, a little teeny bit of weakness down there. Not too bad. Okay. Let me go down to the root. You got a bunch of stuff down there!
Martin: Yes ma’am. That’s my basic modality.
Joan: Okay. That cleared fairly quickly. Okay. I’m going to, I went to all levels. Level one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Okay, that’s good. Now to level one, two, one… Okay, here we go. Two, three, four, five. Okay, good. Let me get a three. Level three that’s been cleared. Now. One, two, three, four, five, six. Okay. The fourth chakra, fifth… This is all you, Martin. Six, seven. Okay, take a deep breath, blow it out. Now, just for the heck of it, do a little bit of this hand motion, and I want you to bend down by your feet if you can. Okay. Either that or have the intention because what we’re doing is we want to blend all the chakras together now. Yeah. And then come up, and then go up above your head, and then come down to your heart center. Good. Good. Deep breath. All right. I want you to close your eyes and go into this situation, and tell me what physical sensation or emotional feeling you have right now.
Martin: Right at the lumbar area of my lower back, from the back, it feels like something is globbed on, like some foreign alien.
Joan: Okay. Is it a dull or a sharp sensation?
Martin: It is as if you attached a frog to the back of your body, cold and ugly.
Joan: A frog. Ooh, interesting. Okay, let’s do some tapping on this. Open your eyes. Even though I have this sensation in my lower lumbar and then describe it.
Martin: Even though I have this sensation in the lower back that feels like an attached frog…
Joan: I accept it, I acknowledge this sensation.
Martin: I acknowledge the sensation…
Joan: And now I choose to release it.
Martin: …now I choose to release it.
Joan: Okay. This is my Joan Kaylor version. Okay. Starting at the top of your head left or right, it doesn’t make any difference. Whichever hand you choose. I release this sensation now. Now down to your eyes and repeat: I release the sensation now. My lower lumbar is strong and healthy. I release this sensation now. I like to do a crossover, for brain balancing, and then I have people lean back and tap under their ribs to get the liver. Okay, here’s the fun part. I want you to get in touch with that physical sensation in your lower lumbar, tapping your thumbs together, and when it starts to lessen, I want you to start tapping on the inside tip of your index finger. All right.
Martin: That’s all gone now.
Joan: It’s all gone?
Martin: I think so, I can’t feel it anymore.
Joan: Okay, so let’s hit the middle finger just to complete this, and the baby finger, back of the hand, inside the wrist, and then the other wrist. Okay, good. Now take a deep breath, release, close your eyes, and think of your lower lumbar, and tell me what’s happening down there.
Martin: It’s gone.
Joan: It’s gone? High five! There you go, now, whatever the situation was, you can remember it, but it doesn’t affect you anymore. Beautiful, I’m so happy I could assist you. Is that a cool demo?
Scott: Yeah! Joan, is it usually this fast?
Joan: When you work with me, it can be. It depends on how skilled the practitioner is, to be quite honest, and how much experience they have. And the more open-minded someone is, the faster it can work too. If there’s any like: “Oh, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen,” I say: “I don’t care how stupid you think it is, let’s just try it and see what happens.”
Martin: Yes. I’ve done this sort of stuff many times, but also the confidence of the practitioner on the other side just clears that channel strongly. This didn’t fix the problem. It just fixed how I feel about it.
Joan: Right. But now you have the attitude that you could go and do whatever you need to do to fix it or deal with it. The blockage has been removed so that you’re not held back. Go, Martin! (laughing)
Martin: (demonstrates tapping motion) We don’t clap like this. We clap like this.
Joan: This is true! And that’s why I love it. It was such an honor and pleasure to be invited to be on the fibromyalgia board because I thought geez, people, if you can just use EFT for the energy of your pain, you might not be as miserable as you are.
Martin: You know, I’m thinking that the pain is actually part of what they want in their life. They may not consciously think that…
Joan: The other point that I wanted to make, which is really important, 99% of the time, or at least 90% of the time, there is an emotional, underlying root cause of the pain or discomfort. And if a practitioner can find that, or if the person does enough tapping, and they know what the event was in their life that started this whole mess, then they can tap on that, and then they remove the blockage. And I’m just so thrilled to be doing this chat with you, this is so exciting.
Martin: So, this is now for the people who watched it, if you aren’t freaked out yet, or if you think: “Wow, this was different,” or: “wow, I’d like some of that,” how would they get some of that? How do we get to Joan Kaylor?
Joan: Oh, you get Joan Kaylor by just going to www.joankaylor.com, or shoot me an e-mail at email@example.com. The consultation would be $200 for an hour and a half if you want to know the cost.
Joan: I have a consulting agreement that I send to you, and then we arrange a day and time, and then we meet through secure video service and do a proper session with confidentiality. I have a compliant secure signal, that is the portal that I use when I do distance consulting, it is very secure. And what’s really interesting, since English is my only language, I did once consult with somebody over in Denmark with EFT, that was fun, they spoke better English than I did!
Martin: So without breaking confidentiality, could you just throw some stories from the field? Like what sort of thing happens with people?
Joan: What sort of thing happens with people? Something that they’re not expecting. They may have relief in pain, whatever it is, emotional or the energy of their physical pain because I have to do this, Martin, I’m going to say this is part of my ethics, I’m not a doctor, I’m not in the medical field, I’m a licensed counselor, so I don’t treat pain or medical issues. I treat the energy or help with the energy and the pain, and I definitely help you with self-sabotaging thoughts and negative emotions. Okay. Having said that, getting that out of the way, their life starts to change. And what I caution people on is some of the changes might not be comfortable.
For instance, I’m working with a client right now and I really think she needs to divorce her husband. But she has to come to that conclusion herself. I can’t say: “Oh, you need to divorce that so and so.” So I am just sitting here, waiting for her to reach that moment. My job here is to support her and guide her along her path, whatever she chooses. But I knew that she started to get healthier and healthier, and I know that she’s not going to be healthy living with this person. So when she finally comes to this conclusion, then I will support her in her process. But that’s what happens. People’s lives change for the better. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better, but people’s lives change. I mean, I’m sitting here having a chat with you and Scott, if you had told me I was going to be doing this two years ago, I would’ve said: “okay, what have you been smoking?” And here we all are, talking about helping people. It’s amazing and I’m so honored. I feel so blessed because I truly know what my purpose here is on Earth. I don’t have to wonder what it is. I know exactly what I’m supposed to do. Teach tapping!
Scott: Joan, how long have you been a therapist?
Joan: Okay. I graduated from the university in 1994, so the therapist part I’ve been doing for 22 years, and I practice in Pennsylvania, we got licensure in 2002, so I’ve been a licensed professional counselor since 2002, but I’ve been a professional counselor since 1994. I tell my clients: “I know a thing or two, cause I’ve seen a thing or two.” It’s been 22 years now, and when somebody comes to me for couples counseling, I say: “well I’ve been married for 30 years this August, so that’s more important than my degree. I can tell you how to navigate the waves of your relationship.” But yes, I’ve been a professional counselor since 1994.
Martin: I guess you can say that you’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt, 20 times.
Joan: I can’t say I’ve seen everything, but I’ve seen a lot. I’ve heard a lot, so there’s not too much that surprises me anymore.
Martin: So people can come to you with: “my life is a mess, my body is a mess, my finances are a mess, my relationship is a mess…”
Joan: And I say: “okay, we’re just going to take this one step at a time.” I had somebody like that yesterday, bless her heart, 32 years old and her life is a mess. But the key was that she told me that she remembered being bullied in middle school and she said: “life was fine until I was 10 years old. And then when I went to middle school, I lost my soul.” And I went: “Now we have a place to start here!”
Martin: Actually, that’s so common. So many girls just at the edge of puberty end up crashing.
Joan: Yeah. I think I’m about the fifth therapist she’s been to. And I said: “well, I’m unlike anybody you’ve ever worked with before.” And then I taught her some breathing exercises, and I told her to go to emofree.com and study that. And then I took her through a real quick relaxation tap, just to relax. And she did report feeling a little better. So I can’t wait to get into the thick of this with her to help her. She’s just this poor lady. She’s such a sweet person. She’s a mess.
Martin: Don’t we all wish that we had something like this at the beginning, rather than 30 or 40 years in?
Joan: Yeah. I always say: “if I knew then what I know now!” But what’s really exciting is that I love teaching EFT, because it’s a tool that works most of the time. I was talking with the director of the International OCD foundation earlier this week, I’ve been a member since 1989, since the beginning, and I said: “you know, you guys are celebrating 30th anniversary this year, and you’ve been obsessing about OCD for 30 years. It’s time to open a new door!” So we’re working on that.
Martin: Yeah. Funny thing, OCD has its roots in brain chemistry, and we actually have supplements for that that make it a lot better. But boy, when you can clear the channels, life starts coming back together!
Joan: Well, Scott and I did a course on Udemy on gentle behavior therapy using EFT for OCD, because, thanks to him, I’ve been allowed to take all my ideas and put them into courses on Udemy.com to help people with OCD and hair pulling and skin picking, variety of situations.
Martin: So they can actually self-educate…
Joan: They can use the tools, self-educate, shoot me an e-mail, ask a question, they can do anything they want, once they decide to purchase the course, and I am here to be their coach!
Martin: Sounds good! Scott, any comments?
Scott: It’s been fascinating watching it, seeing it work, every time I get together with Joan, sometimes I get her to do a little EFT on me too, and it always is amazing, the impact and the effect that it has, which is why we have Joan here, to introduce her, we really strongly recommend you to take a look at this because the mind and the body are connected, and unfortunately our medical system is all about: “just take this pill and it’ll fix whatever is ailing you.” And of course, it doesn’t deal with the cause, and it is kind of nice when you can just get those blocks out.
Joan: Yeah. I have set my intention to attract only holistic practitioners into my world, so I can really help my clients and refer them to good people.
Martin: Good! There’s no chance you can physically fix a problem that is rooted in the vibrational or emotional area. If it’s an invisible problem that’s stored somewhere in the emotional body, there’s no amount of hammering of empty space that you can do to fix that. A migraine is not caused by the deficiency in Tylenol. So if your problem is undefinable, if the problem is a memory, that memory lives in your soft tissue, you can’t take a pill for that.
Joan: Yes, you can’t take a pill for that! You have to go to the root cause and work on that.
Martin: Okay! So that would be about enough for today! Whether this works for you is not a question, until you go in and do it.
Joan: Thank you. Yes! Try this, please! I don’t care how long you want to be miserable. Here are the tools. I’m willing to help you and I don’t care if you want to not! Martin, I’m going to have to tap on that for myself! Thank you for having me today!
Scott: Alright! This was Life Enthusiast Online Radio and TV network! Thank you very much for joining us. See you next time. Bye-bye!