The Darkest Story Ever Told
by Dr. Mark Sircus, Ac., OMD, DM (P)
Director International Medical Veritas Association
Doctor of Oriental and Pastoral Medicine
Below you will find one of the strongest and most difficult essays I have ever written. You will find several of the opening paragraphs repeating some of the information from last weeks essay on vulnerability but this one goes deeper into the subject. This essay is not for everyone to read, not for the faint-hearted because this is a story about the rape of infants vulnerability. It is one of the darkest stories every told and for many thousands upon thousands of parents represents one of the saddest stories every told. If you choose to read this and it touches upon the heart and the flood of tears, which waits for those of us who have hearts that have a deep capacity to feel, my advice is in the middle of the flood to give thanks that we even have a heart to feel. Life is often incredibly painful and challenges our soul on levels that often seem too much to bare. My experience is that each time I swim through the flood of tears my heart becomes stronger and more open and this has led me to where I am today as a being. This material first appeared in my e-book Cry of the Heart almost two years ago.
Mark Sircus Ac., OMD, Director International Medical Veritas Association
Vulnerability is the capacity or susceptibility to being hurt. From the perspective of the heart, from the center of our vulnerable being nature, life on earth holds a great potential for the deep hurting of our beings. Inside the heart lies a great capacity for hurt, a sensibility of being that is complete in its ability to feel the uncaring, hurtful and abusive nature of others in ways that lead to a great deal of suffering. Most of us have been hurt one way or another, but some much more than others. In general we are hurt through the general lack of love that gets expressed as a lack of understanding and deep listening on the part of our parents, teachers, friends and others who just do not have the willingness or capacity to care enough.
For most people the feeling of being exposed to emotional hurt, or exposed to being taken advantage/abused relates to feelings of vulnerability that are to be avoided at all cost. Most people associate vulnerability with the feeling of being fragile, weak, or of being susceptible to emotional pain and suffering. When we are being taken advantage of either in business or in intimate relationships, we tend to feel highly uncomfortable and insecure. When such situations are prolonged we get sick with the helplessness and easily end up feeling trapped or imprisoned. No one likes one bit when their feelings and rights are being ignored and run over especially when we feel too weak to do anything about it.
Normally our vulnerability relates to our innermost feelings and fears with the possibility that others might use our feelings and fears against us if they knew of them. So we hide them to protect ourselves not knowing the cost of repression and separation. Surrounding these issues are the basic feelings of insecurity, our lack of self-confidence, lack of trust in others and the basic fear of the unknown, of uncertainty and uncharted waters. So people who fear being hurt, who fear their own vulnerability and the feelings engendered by it, tend to not let others know how they feel, they tend to think thoughts like, "I am never going to let my guard down, never let them know how I really feel. I have been hurt in the past so I will never let anyone hurt me again." This all leads to attitudes that do not trust anyone, pretending we have no problems or weaknesses when we do, and walking around with the attitude that it's nobody's business how we feel and that nothing and nobody can help us overcome the pain we feel.
The word vulnerable is also synonymous with the words openness and exposure. Being open is a fundamental key to a life of fulfillment and success, to happiness and love. By their openness, people tend to exercise their courage and become freer from fear. Being vulnerable in this sense is synonymous with being open to communicate, being open to share and care, which all opens us up to the possibility of growing as a person in emotional and spiritual ways. When we are vulnerable in a positive way we try out new behaviors, attitudes and or beliefs in the pursuit of fulfillment and personal growth, we become willing to take chances and try out new experiences, accept challenges or take risks in trying out activities where the outcome is unsure.
The most important key to finding the love of the heart
is found in our willingness and ability to be vulnerable.
The most interesting paradox of human life happens to center on issues surrounding our vulnerability. On one side we have this fear of being hurt that closes us down in a multitude of ways. On the other side our openness leads to a dynamic life of courage, faith and trust in others and ourselves. When a person is truly vulnerable there is an unobstructed entrance or view to the persons heart, being and soul. In the strongest or most enlightened person there is no protecting or concealing cover because the person needs none. Such people carry themselves in full view of others because they are not afraid of being hurt, because they are not afraid to suffer.
In the middle, between fear and hurt on one side and love and courage on the other lies a mystery, something little understood by modern man. We have words in language to describe something that we no longer know with any degree of intimacy. In the center is our being, something we come to this earth with, something that takes full form at our birth. In both modern and ancient languages we have this entity that exists inside of us, some internal fire and passion for life and love called the heart.
The Heart is the Vulnerability of being. This says it all when it comes to the heart. It is easy to hurt most beings because the heart is vulnerable. And our bodies are just as vulnerable. In the beginning we just are, a being with the capacity to feel perfectly vulnerable, deeply sensitive to all that is immediately around us. As babies when we are born we need a tender touch, looking to unite in bliss with the beings that have brought us into the world. It is in this that the heart is completely visible, though vulnerable, needing unbreakable bonds of love and trust.
Deep within is our pure being that
has incarnated into this body.
This being is ultra sensitive.
From the moment of conception this pure being
is picking up subtle impressions from the environment
through the heart center of pure feeling.
Scientific evidence does show that even very young children are capable of experiencing deep anguish and grief in response to trauma, loss, and personal rejection. Dr. Kyle Pruett, clinical professor of psychiatry at the Yale University Child Study Center, says "infants are highly attuned to mood even when in the womb making them susceptible to things like parental depression." The reality is that a 4-month-old can be clinically depressed for if they do not get the love and care they deserve and need they begin to withdraw. Our pure beings need and deserve pure love and when we do not get it we become disturbed in our being, in the heart center that feels.
The ground state of our self
is just a being that feels.
Hurt is something our beings naturally feel. Hurt is the appropriate response of the human heart when attacked or misunderstood as adults and it is the natural response of babies when they are treated with lack of consideration, kindness and love. When we betray the innocent and vulnerable nature of the pure heart we cause hurt. When we are born we have a great capacity to be hurt. Babies and young children are totally at the mercy of their environment, they are vulnerable. When we come to earth as vulnerable baby beings we hit the stratosphere of uncaring and are forced to accept many things, including the all to often deliberate abuse of our being. Besides any problems and conflicts our parents might be having we have the medical community waiting, making our birth a problem; ripping the experience away from its natural and most beautiful state. And then we have had the pharmaceutical companies doing their best to drag us away from the breast and the nipple and mothers warmth and natural immune strengthening milk. Yet there is something worse, a terror waiting for us, and aggression and invasion that is inflicted against our totally defenseless being.
"I wanted to let you know that I almost killed my own daughter by allowing her pediatrician to give her shots. At birth, my baby could already hold her head up and look around. She displayed numerous signs of being a gifted child. She scored a 10 on the APGAR test. When she was two months old, we took her to her monthly well checkup. What happened when we took her for her check up when she was two months old I will never forget, and I will tell everyone I know for the rest of my life to inform them of the dangers of these immunizations."
On the day of our birth doctors and nurses, with the willing acceptance and surrender of our parents, plunge cold steel into our flesh and inject a foreign fluid laced with poison and other modified genetic materials that assaults our immune and other critical systems of our bodies. Babies cry when their basic needs are frustrated, they cry when they are in need and when they are hurt. But babies start to scream when we pass a certain limit, they scream without end when they are violated and hurt in a way that is often beyond their capacity to recover from.
It is easy to hurt most beings because the heart is vulnerable.
And our bodies are just as vulnerable.
By the time a baby is born their ultra sensitivity keeps them alert to the total environment surrounding their birth. They can feel, and their beings remember in terms of conditioned fear and trust all the attitudes that surround them. It does make a difference to them how they are treated, how they are welcomed into this world. It matters when the doctor becomes impatient and cuts open the mother's belly, thinking more about money and time than the natural rhythm of mother and infant. It matters on a being level when cold steel penetrates our tender young body injecting something alien that we are totally defenseless to. It matters the arrogance of the minds of others who violate us in the name of false assumptions, judgments and rationalizations about what is and what is not best for our young lives and what they think is best for society. It is the mind that is not sensitive any more to its own vulnerability that can do such things, that can sacrifice without remorse our purity and vulnerability to something else.
When we are born we have
great capacity to be hurt.
There are many things doctors and nurses have traditionally done to rip us away from the pure vulnerability of the moment of our birth, they have hung us upside down and spanked us, taken us away from our mothers before we could bind with them, and shined bright lights in our faces. Making it cold and clinical in operating rooms as opposed to warm and natural in settings that facilitate feelings of safety and security; but what waits is a quantum level more disturbing to our vulnerability. Today it is standard procedure in the first hours or day of our life to penetrate our bodies with a hypodermic needle which manifests on many levels the first basic experiences of uncaring, helplessness and fear.
At the moment of our birth we are confronted with something that holds a threat to our life, with a potential for an early death (for some) for we are injected with nerve toxins that can quickly accumulate and lead to severe neurological damage. Certainly it is a stress and a hurt that makes us scream to the high heavens but the doctors and nurses smile it off as being normal. Their base line of normality is thrust on our vulnerabilities and often sets the stage for much disruption of health in our very young lives. Babies and young children are totally at the mercy of their environment, they are totally vulnerable, but slowly loose this after years of being repeatedly hurt and misunderstood. We slowly loose the vulnerability of being as we erect our ego or mental separate self. When Christ said that we needed to be born again he was referring to the reversing of this process. He was talking about re-contacting this hidden vulnerability, the innocence and natural trust of our beings.
When we betray the innocent and vulnerable nature
of the pure heart we cause hurt.
The separate mind is the betrayer of the
universe of heart and true being.
Because of the hurt we feel deep down, and our own separation from 'that which is hurt,' (separation from our own being nature) we tend to manifest our uncaring and insensitivity in many ways that hurts others. Few understand this process and are sensitive to it and for sure the medical professionals and pharmaceutical people are not among the most considerate, warm and caring energies we encounter in life. One of the reasons money and power is such a difficult trip, and why Christ said it was easier for a camel to thread the eye of a needle than a rich man get to heaven is because if we put money and power first in our consciousness vulnerability gets lost, trampled on, and raped. What we put first in life is incredibly important on this level, it tells a huge story about our lives and actions.
To treasure vulnerable love
is the first law of a pure heart.
This is the key that tells all the difference in young beings lives. When their vulnerability is cherished and protected the needs of our pure beings are met and we develop along natural and healthy lines. The injection of vaccines with their accompanying nerve toxins used as preservatives is the first full-blown invasion and rape of our infant vulnerability. The fear many people have of being exposed to being hurt, taken advantage of or abused, can perhaps be traced to this first in a series of violent intrusions into our inner physical and emotional domain. Though there are many biological and chemical explanations of what vaccine formulas can do to us on physical levels the fears themselves can retard normal development; can lead to developmental problems of all sorts. Shyness, timidity and fear taken to an extreme for instance will create learning disabilities. This can be traced 'impart' back to this wholesale violation of vulnerability at our birth and during the first few months of life when we are repeatedly attacked with needles that inject liquid poisons into our bodies. When we are led innocently to suffer the 'normal' side effects of vaccines, stresses and pain over something we have no control over we scream our unhappiness, we scream the hurt and we scream the suffering and in this hardly a soul thinks anything is wrong except the parents whose hearts are thrown into a hurt fire of anguish that no one should have to face.
The age of starting routine immunization appears to be a
critical determinant of the severity and frequency of reactions.
Both western medicine and modern psychology have not been able to come up with solid concepts that explain why some people recover from illness and others do not. There does seem to be a force in most everyone that operates routinely to protect and promote health, whose absence seems to leave us vulnerable. This explains, on some level, why one individual might suffer a relatively mild attack of a disease like ulcerative colitis, another gets chronically crippled by the same disease, and a third might decline rapidly from the first attack and go on to die from the same thing another recovers quickly from. Many physicians and therapists have noticed that certain people have a strong will to get better. There are some individuals who can become extremely sick, and because of an exceptionally 'strong will to grow,' they heal. And there are people who suffer from mild illnesses, who lack this will, and despite the best of treatment and care, languish inside of their illness. They will not show significant improvements, or if they do, will end up bouncing from one illness to another.
It's unbelievable that people would inject a chemical cocktail
directly into our bloodstream, ready to disrupt our immune system,
ready to subject our young body to a host of toxic chemicals and viruses.
We naturally scream against such an invasion, we react, and sometimes we die.
These differences are apparent in babies and their reactions to vaccination. Some babies are naturally stronger and can take the abuse with greater ease. Whether that has something to do with their bodies ability to detoxify or an overall strength is unknown but there is little to explain why one child will develop the slight redness of skin that doctors and nurses and medical organizations like to hold up as the only truly 'normal' effect to vaccination, and why others will react with high fevers and seizures that can end in death. There are so many factors that lead to our feelings of security and trust of life and many things that lead us to feeling timid and afraid. What is clear is that doctors and nurses are no longer tuned to the subtle vulnerabilities or even if it's a good idea to inject nerve toxins used as preservatives in the blood streams and muscle tissue of newborn infants. They are so out of touch with the true realities of young babies lives, they must be to do what they are doing without compunction.
Perhaps we know instinctively that some dark
sinister force is attacking our purity of being.
Perhaps we feel with our tiny little spirits the force of deliberate ignorance and the bestiality of greed attacking our bloodstreams. Perhaps somehow we can sense that these people are much more interested in their ideas and livelihoods and their cherished ways of life than our vulnerability and need for pure love. Perhaps we just know through our feelings that it is all wrong, and we kick and scream, and then even our parents betray us by themselves taking us to the alter of medical deception. When our parents betray us something gets lost deep inside, we lose a certain trust that often can never be mended. When it comes to ripping our veins open to foreign invasion, when our pureness of being, and the natural strength of our bodies and immune systems are not being respected, the loss on the innermost subtle levels is hidden, lost behind a cloud of medically recognized symptoms like allergies and asthma all of which have emotional aspects behind them. Parents themselves are of course betrayed by their doctors and by governmental agencies who are just promoting the agenda of large pharmaceutical companies that have their profits mostly in mind.
It is the uncaring that hurts our beings, the lack of heart,
and the steel coldness of the mind that is always seeking
power, dominance and control over others lives.
It is very difficult for many adults to understand the pure vulnerability that a baby comes into the world with for many have lost their connection with their own vulnerability. Babies are much more sensitive than we can imagine and react to the most subtle influences. Mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde, and quite a few other toxic substances are found to varying degrees in all vaccines. These substances aggressively interact with the physical and potentially the emotional level. There are certain things that can never be measured, cannot be studied by medical science. We come to this world looking for pure love, needing pure love, needing pure touch and an ultra sensitivity to our beings. When we get injected with poisons and are mishandled at our birth we get something that betrays our vulnerability and deep needs for love and trust.
The general nature of 'evil' is to not have consciousness
of the effect that our actions have
on the worlds of others.
Elie Wiesel understood evil, he lived through the Holocaust, and wrote about the men who managed the death camps. "Yes, it is possible to defile life and creation and feel no remorse. There was, then, a technique, a science of murder, complete with specialized laboratories, business meetings and progress charts. Those engaged in its practice did not belong to a gutter society of misfits, nor could they be dismissed as just a collection of rabble. Many held degrees in philosophy, sociology, biology, general medicine, psychiatry and the fine arts. There were lawyers among them. And - unthinkable but true - theologians." It is not such a stretch of the imagination for many thousands of parents to assume the worst when it comes to the public health officials and doctors that are responsible for vaccination policy.
It's hard to understand that it is almost impossible to approach these kinds of people with logic and reason about things that are impossible for them to understand. How can you make them understand that nothing does greater harm to a human being (or infant) than feeling that your life is in danger and there is nothing you can do about it. Scientists have discovered that great changes in brain chemistry occur when there is a danger and there is nothing we can do to escape it. The feeling of helplessness is a terror from which the brain has a very hard time recovering from. Many beings have confronted combat, torture, repeated child abuse, rape, and violent assault; each of these provokes a common biological and neurological effect when the stressful event is perceived as uncontrollable, thus leaving us helpless. When we feel there is something we can do we fare much better through traumatic experiences.
There is nothing a child or infant can do but kick and scream as we drag them into the doctor's office. It's funny that we so easily dismiss their cries, and it's sick that doctors and nurses dismiss their piercing screams and high fevers so easily afterwards. This story about the rape of infants vulnerability represents one of the darkest stories every told. For many thousands upon thousands of people it represents one of the saddest stories every told. Beyond our imagination it goes, beyond our capacity to feel empathy and remorse. No heart could bear to feel the collective agony of parents around the world whose babies are damaged or killed through this form of medical and scientific abuse of beings. No heart could bear to go totally into the inner world of all these infant baby beings and identify with their feelings without a total meltdown lined with tears. And no heart can really understand how humanity could have slipped so low and into such a darkness that would do such things to incredibly beautiful and vulnerable beings that come so trustingly into our care.
How can one not cry about such things, how can one not care? How can this have gone on for so long without the cry of the heart being heard? How have we been so duped that we have sleepwalked through such ignorance and insensitivity. These are questions for all of us to answer not just the doctors and nurses. Hardly a one of us has paid sufficient attention but now is our chance to make up for it all. Now is our chance to raise up among humanity a ground swell cry and scream that will finally be heard around the world. Now is our chance to prove that we are humans and deserve our place in a humane universe.
The babies are still being lined up, they are still screaming and crying. Can we hear them? All over the globe they are crying and sometimes dying. Can we hear them? Can we feel them? Whose heart can bear to? But we have to; we simply have to reconnect with their vulnerability that is being raped every day. Yes there is no way other than through swimming through a river of tears and through hearts almost broken but we will not break. Instead we have to channel all these feelings into a power translated into action that will lead to humanity coming to its senses. To the sense that we will have the wisdom to stop hurting the children.
One families story about the devastating effects of the Hep B vaccine. Beth Topp the mother of Robert
"I could not imagine a more difficult task than describing how my son was before the shot. With every word I feel that bright, curious, considerate, beautiful little boy getting farther away. My son is still here, but he's not the same. He changed literally overnight. He had a thorough physical exam and our doctor said he was in great shape. A few minutes later the nurse gave him his first "mandatory " Hepatitis B vaccine. The following morning he was different. Different looking, different acting. I keep explaining this difference to all the doctors. I realize that it is hard to get past the fact that he is paralyzed on one side, but that for us is only the tip of the iceberg. There is something else going on here. There is something really wrong with him. Mentally, physically, and personality wise he is a different kid.
I can't expect a doctor who has never met him to realize what a dramatic transformation this is because they have nothing to compare him to. I am hoping that my memories will be enough to help them understand how much of my child is missing. I hope I can make them understand how special he is and help them find some way to bring my little boy back to me. I'm not asking for a miracle, but just to understand what is happening to him, so maybe I can help fix it. I am so desperate, I will try anything. If he was dead I could mourn him and if he was missing I could look for him and if he had cancer I find the best doctors for treatment and comfort him. But he has turned into someone else and I don't know what I am supposed to do. I don't know how I am supposed to do it.
It is important to know that I wanted my children. I cherish them. I have always believed I was put on this earth to raise my children well, provide them with a good foundation enabling them to achieve great things. No sacrifice is too much. I want them to be good people and I believe that each one of them is destined to do something great with their lives. Since the day he was born, a perfect little angel with a halo of beautiful white blonde hair and wise blue eyes. He was content. He didn't have colic or get fussy. He never showed any sign of a temper and was patient to a fault. He was always so happy and agreeable. He was a natural athlete, nice, trying to please and very bright.
You really would have to know Robert to understand how radical a change there was after the shot. He's not the same anymore in anyway. He's really ticklish now. And has no tolerance for pain. If you step on his toe he screams and falls down crying in agony. Then he jumps up and wants to attack whoever hurt him. He is mean to little kids. He argues and fights and demands that everything be fair. He gets lost. He looks lost. He can't do basic subtraction. He can't remember anything. He forgets what we did yesterday and doesn't have the ability to think back and remember the last time he went to the bathroom. He is cold even when it is 90 degrees. He gets exhausted walking and gets nosebleeds a lot. His face doesn't move on the left side. He can't even close his eye or blink. His face sometimes looks twisted tight and severe. Other times it looks like it is sliding off his head. His mouth doesn't work so he drools, has trouble swallowing, slurs words and when he drinks it runs right down his chin. The only thing he likes to eat is yogurt and does this weird thing with the right side of his tongue licking the spoon. He eats by putting his face down by the plate."